You
become the parent – and your parent becomes the child: that happens when you realize your parent's
mental ability is slipping to the point that your roles have begun to
change. It need not be your parent; of
course, it could be a friend, sibling, spouse, or other relative.
The
first hurdle is determining when that day of role reversal has come. The realization may come suddenly with
obvious signs of mental deterioration; or you may experience a slowly building
awareness that something is wrong. Some
people rush the day. The first
"senior moment" or mistake is, to some, a sign that the senior is
incapable of caring for herself. Sometimes
it is done maliciously -- the adult child who wants the parent out of his life
or to obtain control of any assets.
Some
forgetfulness occurs at any time in life – the misplaced homework of a child or
the misplaced key of a young adult. Then
suddenly is misplacing an item evidence of aging? Not necessarily, without a pattern of
problems.
The
more common issue is not recognizing that the day has come. One may be in denial simply because one
doesn't want it to be true and doesn't want to face the future without that
person as a fully functioning member of one's life.
Distance
can be a factor in realizing that a problem exists. A friend of mine spoke with her elderly
parents often by phone and thought they sounded fine. They reassured her they WERE fine. When she finally came to visit them, she was
stunned to find her normally tidy parents living in absolute squalor. They were unable to cope with daily living.
I
recommend this You Tube video to learn more about dementia. It's about 90 seconds. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQx6Ku390YU
