I felt it was time for my dad to give up driving. He was in
his late 80's but not senile. His eyesight was good but he was becoming quite
deaf even with a hearing aid. I wasn't concerned about his ability to operate
the car but rather how he could cope with traffic and with the crazy drivers
that are sometimes out there.
It also happened to be the time for him to renew his license.
I took him to the facility to take the road test.
The examiner rode with Dad and then came back to me and said
hesitantly, "I don't feel comfortable passing him."
"Then don't!" I replied.
He looked relieved. I was relieved.
The first thing Dad had done in the test was to try to start
the car -- even though the engine was already running. He couldn't hear it.
Dad was okay with not being able to drive anymore; at least
he acted as if he were okay about it.
The Alzheimer's Association has
resources to assist caregivers in initiating a conversation about giving up
driving. http://www.alz.org/care/alzheimers-dementia-and-driving.asp
A postscript to Dad's story:
A few months after giving up driving, Dad and I went to a
nearby strip mall. When we came out of the store, I found that someone had
parked illegally and had our car boxed in. I tried to maneuver the car out of
the space but I wasn't getting anywhere.
Dad suggested we trade places. He got behind the wheel and quickly
and deftly pulled the car out of the space. Then we traded back…and I humbly
drove home.
