100 Years - Veterans Day - November 11, 1918 - 2018

            Mom was 7 years old when World War I, or as she called it, the Great War, ended. An armistice was scheduled for the 11th hour, on the 11th day, of the 11th month in 1918.

             The boys in her Chicago public school made paper hats so they could represent soldiers. The girls took white strips of cloth from an old bed sheet and used tincture of iodine to draw a red cross on each one. When they tied the cloth across their foreheads they looked like nurses.    

            All the children paraded around the flagpole in the playground that morning of November 11, 1918. 

            That's how that first armistice was celebrated by ordinary people. Armistice Day was celebrated from 1919 to 1954, when the name changed to Veterans Day.

 

 

 

A Grandparent's Decline Can be Frightening to a Child

I had a terrible cold on the 4th of July when I was 6. I had to miss the celebration, but I wasn't too sad because Dad promised I could use my sparklers when I was well.  

A few days later, completely over my cold, I visited Grandma and my two aunts. Grandma spent most of her time in bed and my aunts took care of her.  

I excitedly announced I was going to use my sparklers that night!

My Grandma called to my aunts, asking if it was the 4th of July. I was stunned. Adults were supposed to know everything. For Grandma to WONDER if it was a holiday was unthinkable!

I didn't tell anyone that I was scared by what Grandma said. And no one noticed that I was no longer excited about my sparkers….

As an adult I wrote the story of Johnny, a little boy who thinks his grandmother doesn't love him anymore because she is acting strangely. Mommy explains about Grandma's illness in a way that comforts Johnny.

I hope the book, Special Secret Hearts: A Child's Introduction to Dementia, will help parents cope with their children's fears about aging family members.

Special Secret Hearts is part of a 2 in 1 book illustrated by children for children.

You can read an excerpt here: http://wwwhttp://booklocker.com/6401

See my books on Amazon here: http://amzn.to/KhvXA8

 

Elder Abuse: Isolation

 

Elder abuse can take many forms. "Isolating elderly persons from their friends and family" is one type of abuse.

https://www.encyclopedia.com/caregiving/encyclopedias-almanacs-transcripts-and-maps/elder-abuse

The adult children of Mickey Rooney, Casey Kasem, and Glen Campbell accused their caregivers of isolating them. They recently testified in Michigan and Maryland in support of visitation rights legislation.

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/politics/bs-md-visitation-bill-20180227-story.html
 
https://www.detroitnews.com/story/news/local/michigan/2018/02/13/elder-visitation-legislation-michigan/110376440/

 http://baltimore.cbslocal.com/2018/02/28/parents-visitation-bill-maryland/

Caregiving and the Sandwich Generation

A recent article in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch discusses an innovative solution for elder care--young adults are living with their grandparents so they can care for each other.
Read the full article here:

http://www.stltoday.com/business/local/creative-caregiving-solutions-for-the-sandwich-generation/article_a2870605-04c6-5237-8a01-df788cf251dd.html

Asia: Does an Adult Child Have a Legal Obligation to Parents?

I read an interesting article about filial piety throughout Asia explaining that although this respect for elders is an integral part of the culture of many Asian countries, financial realities are causing major changes.

For example, as young people from China's interior move to coastal areas for jobs, the elderly are being abandoned. And, because China has had a one-child rule since 1979, an adult child has to care for both parents alone.

China now has laws delineating the actions adult children should take. Chinese companies are supposed to provide vacation time so employees can visit their parents. These laws, however, do not provide punishment for failure to obey, unlike Indian law, which provides for the imprisonment of children who fail to care for their parents.

Singapore law has provided parents with legal recourse to sue their children for money and caregiving since 1999.

This thought provoking article, When Filial Piety is a Legal Obligation, was written by Winnie Chwang, a Senior Research Analyst with Matthews Asia, an investment company, for the week of August 16, 2013. The full article can be seen here:

http://us.matthewsasia.com/perspectives-on-asia/asia-weekly/article-648/default.fs

Caregiving Introduction

When I was in law school, I had a professor who told about his senile father.  The man often wandered away from home and when my professor found him, the father refused to return home with him.  A police officer had to tell the father to go home with this 'nice young man' for him to cooperate. 

The professor explained that one in four people would develop dementia so chances were 50/50 that we would have a parent with Alzheimer's disease or senile dementia.  (I don't know if his statistics were correct.)  I paid little attention to his stories, but within a year, I realized Mom was showing signs of dementia, too.

I was busy finishing law school and only vaguely aware of the changes in Mom's behavior.  At first little things happened that only someone close to her would realize were "off."  The odd conduct occurred more and more frequently.

When I graduated, hiring freezes made it impossible to seek employment with the federal government as I had planned.  I began caring for Mom while looking for work.  Her needs increased and I cared for her until her death in 1997; I cared for Dad until his passing in 2001. 

Although I worked some part time and temporary jobs, my career was essentially on hold from my graduation in 1980 until 2001.  I certainly do not recommend that for anyone!  After caregiving for 23 years, I have definite ideas on what to do – and what not to do.  More resources are available to the caregiver and the elderly than ever before.  In subsequent posts, I will share some of the resources I found most valuable.

A Frightening 4th - When I Was 6

I was sick on the 4th of July when I was 6 years old. Dad promised, though, that I could use my sparklers when I was well. I was visiting my aunts and grandma at their house a few days later and excitedly told them that I was going to use my sparklers that night. Grandma called an aunt over and asked if it was the 4th of July.

I was terrified at Grandma's question! At the age of 6, I was absolutely certain that adults knew everything. Yet here was my Grandma not knowing if it was the 4th of July! Unthinkable. I didn't tell anyone that I was frightened and no one realized that I was upset about something. I kept trying to puzzle out what was happening. I can still feel how scary it was to realize that an adult might not even know what day it was!

And so all these years later I have written the story of Johnny, a little boy who thinks his grandmother doesn't love him anymore because she is acting differently. Mommy explains about grandmother's illness in a way that makes Johnny happy.

Unlike me, Johnny is sad rather than afraid. Also unlike my true-life experience, Johnny's mom realizes something has upset him and helps him.

I wrote the story to help families cope with a difficult problem that occurs so often: a child dealing with the decline of a loved one. I hope my story is of help to you.Special Secret Hearts: a Child's Introduction to Dementia  http://amzn.to/KhvXA8